Monday, July 25, 2011

Brain, liquefaction of

My 3quarksdaily column for this month...

The following is an excerpt from my unpublished manuscript “A Shorter History of Bodily Fluids”

Brain, liquefaction of: also known as encephalomalacia (from the Greek, μαλακία softening), necrencephalus (from Greek, νεκρο + κεϕαλή  deadhead), ramollissement cérébral (from the French ramollissement cérébral), cerebromalacia (from the Greek, μαλακία  a colloquial onanist, esp a vehicular onanist; cf blood, semen), cerebral softening (from the Old English soft meaning soft), or more commonly, softening of the brain (pronounced US /breɪn/).  When the tissue affected is white matter it is called leukoencephalomalacia; polioencephalomalacia refers to necrosis of the gray matter. This condition may manifest as multiple Brainnecrotic fluid-filled cavities replacing healthy brain tissue.  It is preferable to inspect this necrosis post-mortem especially if attempting to administer home remedies.  If you are a sheep the following suite of symptoms will be diagnostically useful in identifying brain liquefaction: somnolence, short sightedness, ataxia (poor coordination), head pressing, tumblesaulting, walking in circles, walking bipedally, excessive bleating or bleating in prime numbers, and terminal coma.  I treated a mouse once that after a fall complained to me that she could only walk in circles.  It greatly affected her travel plans and she died penniless, vastly undereducated, and living very close to where she was born.

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